I Promise

 Dear World, 
I found some of my old poems on facebook and myspace..and since I don't use either of those that much, I figured I'd do some flashback posts on here. 

Here is a poem that I wrote 4 years ago. I wrote this for my family after thinking of how they had been there for me when I was in AZ all those years ago. Family week at Remuda Ranch, supporting me in my recovery. I need to edit it a bit...but here it the original:

I Promise

Can you love with all your heart?
It seems impossible for me.
sometimes this is all, all I ever see.
something I'm not too fond of
in the mirror staring back at me
and I wonder if its the same thing
that everyone around me will see
Could you spare me just one smile
I've been trying to act so tough
Pretending that I'm happy
Just wasn't ever enough
I will be strong, I promise
I know I'll make it through
If I make it through for anyone
that person would be you
You've looked up to me for so long
I can't bare to let you down
I'm hoping that I'll be strong
that you won't ever see me frown
I never met to hurt you
and it kills me to see you cry
mother, father, sister, brother
my heart has never been so held under
under the waters of hurt and pain,
all this self-pity with nothing to gain.
please forgive, I've done you wrong
I promise you it wasn't me
That this disease makes it hard to see
I've been held down for far too long
But through ever talk and every song
that you sang to me through the days
Is slowly returning and catching my gaze.
No one knows me like you do
and you might not believe its true.
But mother, father, sister, brother,
I swear I'll never find another
to give me the love that you've shown me
to be there and refuse to leave.
By your side I'll always stay
I won't let this disease take me away.
You are my family,
And can't you see?
You will always mean the World to me...



Yours Truly,
Charissa