I found my purpose in this world, it was sitting right next to a broken hearted girl..

I feel like everything changed so quickly. My confidence used to be so low. I used to hate to even look in a mirror. I used to think that I was unlovable, untouchable, and that no one could understand my world. I had to have my heart completely broken, stepped on, and smashed to pieces so that I could put the pieces back together the right way, they way things should have been all along. I had to have someone calling me every name in the book, making me feel like I was completely worthless, someone that I had to stand up to and let them know I wasn't anything they thought I was. He called me stupid, but I'm actually really damn smart. He told me no one cares for me, but my God and my family and my friends would all do anything for me. He told me I'm pathetic, but I just have a kind heart. It's funny how it took someone putting me down for me to finally stop talking myself down. I have had to fight to be who I am and to feel confident in who I am. I'll never let anyone take away what I've learned through this experience and after everything is said and done I wouldn't change a thing. God's methods of teaching me life lessons never stop amazing me. My purpose is to love and be loved and anything that doesn't match up with that doesn't deserve a place in my life.


yours truly,
Charissa

"Now everybody's feelin' all alone, can't tell you who I am..."

Life, shouldn't have to be so complicated. Life, isn't what you would expect, it's usually more than that. Life, isn't about fighting for what you believe in. Life is about coming together with other people and living and loving and doing the things we love to do until the world comes to an end. And no one can tell us that our time was wasted or that life was ever in the least bit pointless. I stopped wishing that I could turn back time and started living my values out loud.

I will have to admit though, there are still things and people I miss, and sometimes I really do feel all by myself. But only for a brief moment, because life is too short to have regrets or to waste time feeling bad for myself. If I want you, I'll tell you. If I hate you, you'll know it. If I go out of my way to be friends with you, don't take me for granted. And I shall do the same for you :]

I live to love, doesn't mean I always have to love my life.

okay, done being random. back to my British tv shows :]

Yours Truly,

Charissa

The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return...

It sounds so simple. Like all you have to do is care and people will care right back. But this isn't the case. This world is cold, this world is not my home. And the hardest thing for me to understand is people who don't care for anyone but themselves. I couldn't ever truly hate anyone because hatred only makes me feel guilt and guilt makes me feel sad. I had my days when all I thought about was myself and believe me, those were the most miserable days of my life. All I thought about was what I wanted or what I didn't have. I learned that the only way to start feeling better about myself was to start living life with a passion for things that I love and people that I care about who are willing to take the time to care about me as well. I am an open book, ask me anything, tell me anything. And even though I slip up and I'm still human and I still have times when I don't act as I should, I want to do my best to show people the love that God has shown me. If God can forgive me and I can forgive myself then why should I not show that same forgiveness to others? Right now life is not very easy for me, it's a constant struggle. But I can tell you now that even though things are hard I never feel alone anymore like I used to. I close my eyes and my heavenly father hold me close, he gives me peace, gives me mercy and lets me know that I am loved simply because I am His. This is why the world has not made me cold, and this is why when things are bad and when things are good I know what I am worth and what each person on this earth is worth. So even though I may get shoved around or hurt I know that hate does not bring anything good and that eventually, in the end, love will win. And I'm talking true love, God's love. I don't think that anyone in this world can truly love other people if they have not felt the power of God's love first. I never understood what it met to forgive and to love until I felt the love of my creator. I used to hate myself, I used to hate my family sometimes, I used to hate others who had done me wrong, but I've learned there's just no point to hatred, love or let it go....

yours truly,

Charissa