Friday, December 14, 2012

"And as for selling myself short, I have become notorious"

I'm sitting here..waiting for a verdict from a board of people who know only my name and few things other than my appearance to connect me to that. I wonder if that is all I have been to most people here..a name..a face..the girl who pushes the limits that others have set for her(in the most postive ways of course..or at least I believe this to be true). I just can't help but wonder as I look back...have I let my situations, or the way others look at me, effect the way I look at myself..or the way that I know God looks at me? Maybe people have been treating me like a child because I have no faith in the woman that I have become. I'd like to be grown up but continue to think that I have nothing to offer the world. I can't keep doing this to myself. I can't keep putting everyone else on higher ground, putting myself in a position for those around me to look down on me. I can only imagine how much better my life will become when I can convince myself that I am worthy to stand on the same level as my peers. What I desire more than anything is to be a leader. But how can I do this without speaking up? My voice is hidden and no one knows the power that I have been given to go behind that voice. I know the gifts that God has given me and all I have to do now is let God be my confidence, that I might be brave because he is always with me.

Today, I just pray that, no matter what happens, I will have the strength to see myself as the beautiful woman of God that I truly am..instead of the victimized young girl who feels as if she shouldn't exist. I pray for peace and courage for myself and all others who struggle with their self worth. Please know that this world does not define you. No matter what label you may recieve in this world, it doesn't matter. God left his imprint on each one of us. If we choose to imbrace that, the labels of this world will simply be irrelevent opinions. Don't ever forget how perfect you are through Christ.


Yours Truly,
Charissa

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